Doom Slayer meets Duke Nukem
by Dreamsofiron
Summary: Two legends finally meet
1. Chapter 1

Crimson gore flooded the dark streets of hell infested metropolis, the screams of infernal agony were heard in the air and the balls of ancient steel were lusting for vengeance!

Bleak horizon swallowed the eldritch sorrows of emerald night and the manly pussy annihilator, lord Nukem himself, fired his last blazing bullets in the nightmarish head of the monstrous hell spawn. "Huh out of ammo, fuck gives!" he growled in his brooding solitude!

But he was not alone and the dark figure, cloaked in blood and vile intestines of stygian beasts appeared before him blasting his steel shotgun to the head of primordial defiler of soulless aions. "Come with me brother, we sing of glory!" rasped the dark figure like the skeletal eagle dancing madly in the halls of Ragnarok!

"What is your name, o nobel stranger!" gasped Lord Nukem in return to his iron savior. "I am DOOM, Doom Slayer!" roared the dark and gargantuan figure! "Time has come brother, there are asses to kick!" finished the DOOM Slayer!

"Of course brother, but I am unarmed!" rasped Lord Nukem, "Here take this plasma rifle and use it well!" screamed the Doom Slayer!

And so they continued on the path of bloodshed, mowing down hordes of infernal hell beasts. When they ran out of ammo they started using their BEAR hands to tear apart the skulls of nameless abominations!

"We are surrounded brother!" agonized Lord Nukem like the Titan of Primeval sea. "We still have berserk packs, and our bodies are still vet from passionate slaughter! TO GLORY BROTHER, TO GLORY!" ejaculated Doom Slayer like the statue of steel and blood!

And so two brothers, two demigods, two TITANS, used their berserk packs and jumped like insane bears in halls of Tiamat to tear the daemon scum to pieces.

After the holy carnage was dome they were covered in life fluids and naked like brothers before the stars!

"Embrace me brother, the heat of battle, the screams of war, this is the final joy a MAN could know!" screamed Lord Nukem like lion made of fallen dreams of Anubis. "We are one brother!" roared the DOOM SLAYER like the black dragon of Tartarus!

But then a vision appered before them and their manly eyes gazed fused Cyber Demon and Cycloid Emperor the new abomination known only as Cycloid Daemon!

"To glory brother, our balls will rest in Valhalla!" screamed the Doom Slayer like bronze King of old!

They leapt into battel hacking of monsters arms and ripping its disgusting eye, the beast was down and they gorged on its blood red gore like VIKINGS CONSUMED IN ORGY OF GODLY TERROR!

But the intestines of the land did not gave them peace and new horror appeared before them, the Icon of Sin fused with alien Tech and Named the ULTIMATE COSMIC DESTROYER OF GODS FURY!

"Thay summoned the BFGs with their manly prayer to Odin and fired in Beasts exposed brian! And behold the Cosmic Destroyer was no more and the skies were blue like diamonds!

"Blood soaked slaughter makes my balls lusty, let's visit some voluptuous Wrenches!" erected Lord Nukem before the gods in Valhalla.

"I care not for the company of wrenches, only you my manly brother!" growled the Doom Slayer while shrouded in myth!

"Of course brother, I was a silly thing!" laughed Lord Nukem heartily. And then they both laughed heartily!

And it was a great ending... MAYBE! Doom Slayers pet bunny was found dead! SOMEONE IS GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!

Here we go again...


	2. Chapter 2

Radiant sun burned with silent screams of long forgotten souls. They landed on Mars now, and payed homage to Mars the god of war.

Blood was on their hands and wind was roaring with destiny.

"Embrace me brother, let our oiled manly bodies pulse with the joy of eldritch slaughter!" screamed Doom Slayer.

"Brother you are breaking my spine!" answered Lord Nukem.

"Alright brother, it's time to kill some demons!" growled the Slayer on top of his lungs!

The first demon horde was running towards them and they quickly used their long, bloodied chainsaws to dismember the daemons and feed on their precious life juices!

"Hour of slaughter and shatter shields, the sun rises!" roared the slayer, and indeed the sun was rising burning the abominations of desolation with its glowing embrace.

"Bleak times indeed." gasped Lord Nukem while covered in splattered brains of the daemons like flowers in spring!

After that they stormed the palace of dreaded Spider Mastermind like two cyclopean barbarian princes of old!

"Shadows lenghten brother!" ejaculated Doom Slayer in his wisdom.

First wave of daemons was closing in on them but they were prepared and used big, long, hard rocket launchers to clear the area.

"Blazing Glories!" erectulated Lord Nukem like the colossus on the iron throne.

They were ready to face the spider mastermind. The beast tried to shoot them but they used their rockets to explode her brain covering the blackeded walls in thick layer of blood red gore!

"Now it's time to open a portal to hell and kill death itself! MY PET BUNNY MUST BE AVENGED!" ejected Doom Slayer like storm of elder gods!

They bravely stepped through the portal!

Bleak shadows were dancing on the walls of ancient catacombs like birds of smoke and flame.

Before them stood an army of cyberdemons. "For glory, cut them in half!" roared the Slayer and they both charged, chainsaw in hand.

The battel was long and bloody but at the end they came out victorious, now they were like butchers red with gore!

After the carnage was completed the Grim Reaper himself appeared before them, but they were ready and they fused their chainsaws with BFGs to create the ultimat vepon!

"Odin hear our song!" they ejaculated in unison and charged the monster.

They managed to pierce it's exposed brain with their long, lusty BFG chainsaws and the creature was no more.

After that blood splattered scene of slaughter Doom Slayers pet bunny came back to life and piece was upon the land.

Bored with their newfound boredom thay opened a portal to another dimension and thrust their naked muscular bodies through it looking for the new world of slaying and fine adventure...


End file.
